How To Deal With Money Blocks & Manifest Money, To Have Breakthroughs In Your Personal Finances.
Keisha Blair: Welcome to the Holistic Wealth podcast. I’m your host, Kesha Blair, wife, mother of three, Author of Holistic Wealth and Founder of the Institute on Holistic Wealth. The show will showcase various experts in the key pillars of holistic wealth. Each week we deliver. It’s information on how to become holistically wealthy and live your best life.
Today, we have a very special guest with us. We have Polly Alexandre, and Polly is International Success Coach & Money Blocks Expert. She’s a money mindset, coach, intuitive healer and entrepreneur. And she’s also the host of the Feminine Millionaire Podcast. Polly, I’m so delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show.
Polly Alexandre: Thank you, Keisha. I’m really excited to be here. I am excited.
Keisha Blair: You know, it’s so funny. I love talking about money mindset. I love talking about intuition. I love talking about money blocks and ancestral money blocks. It’s just all so interesting for me. And so that’s why I’m so happy to have you here. And I just wanted to start off with your journey. Because I know in your own life you had identified, you know, limiting beliefs around money and you’ve come full circle now where you’re healing others using like a diverse array of skills. And I’m just so happy to hear about that because so much aligns with the whole philosophy of holistic wealth. So Polly, I’ll let you get into your story for the audience.
Polly Alexandre: It’d be interesting to tell it through the lens of money, because there’s this thing, stages that I went through in my relationship to money. And because I believe that money just mirrors our relationship to ourselves and to life. So it’s really good signpost as to what’s going on inside. And with how we view the world. So I started off with a not so conscious relationship to money growing up. I got a lot of messages, like money’s hard to come by. It doesn’t grow on trees. My parents grew up in the war in the UK, so there was a lot of scarcity and ration. And it was just this feeling all sort of, well, you’ve got to be very careful, count your pennies. And at the same time we lived in a nice house and I went to a good school. So there was a kind of collecting information on the one hand money was there for things like education. On the other hand, the thing to get is constant scarcity and fear around the money. And so I grew up trying to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
So I got a job. I was working in corporate and I managed to largely avoid money because it just came in at the end of the month. It was there. It was fixed for the year you had to review at the end of the year, you were not really didn’t really have much power. In my opinion at that stage in my career, over what I made. So I was a big spender, which when we come to that later, in terms of my money style was definitely in the spending camp. And so I was always spending more, and there was never enough at the end of the month. That’s just how it was. And I just thought that’s just how it is with money. There’s never enough.
So I was kind of like a functioning dysfunctional around money until I hit my late twenties. And then this point I decided that I had to get out. I had to claim my freedom and I had to quit my job. And I was so excited. I had the vision boards, I had the vision, I was going back to study. I bought a house first, so I made a really smart financial decision whilst they have a job to get a mortgage and buy my own home. And then I rented out rooms in the house to other students to pay my mortgage. So I was kind of pretty savvy in that way. But when I had to start asking for money for myself as a photographer. Oh my gosh. I realized it was really hard to put a value on yourself, in terms of pricing your services. I felt like everybody wanted a discount.
That’s when I really came face-to-face with money. I’m having to manage my own taxes, my own cashflow. And I think this, although I wouldn’t have said it at the time. This is really when all of my money blocks started coming up. So when my career as a photographer gradually got better, I got better at these things, but it wasn’t until I got to my late thirties, about a decade later, that I really started learning about this concept of money mindset and really started getting more empowered around it. I taught myself a money story as a photographer, which was well, I’m sacrificing my money to do what I love. Like a lot of artists, a lot of creative people will say, oh, but I’m doing. And artists don’t make much money or two people don’t make much money, you know, or I’m a mom, so I’m not going make much money.
You know, so many stories we tell ourselves about why we can’t make much money. And my story was, I’m lucky to be doing what I love. It just never occurred to me that you could sort of have it all or that things could be better. So I sort of had this unconscious limit and then I made a big dream come true. And I got a second home, I just thought, oh my gosh, this is like, incredible. This is as good as it gets, and then literally within two days of going there, everything started to unravel. So within six months, my mom died suddenly, one day she was there and literally she wasn’t, and she’d struggled with me moving abroad, she didn’t understand my decision. And I also think she knew she was ill, although none of us did. And she suddenly went one day and then straight after my father got cancer, he was really ill.
Then I got ill from all of this. I was engaged to be married. I got married. And then shortly after getting married, my husband walked out two years after. I just went through this huge series of losses and, you know firsthand. And the journey that we go on and it was compatible with me and money issues. And suddenly my partners exited, I had a huge amount of financial responsibility, modest income, and I was a wedding photographer in the middle of a divorce. And everybody knew about my wedding. And it was really tough and it affected my business. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of shooting weddings because my own marriage hadn’t worked.
I was on the journey of grief. My father was still alive, is still alive, but we’re still dealing with cancer. And I really was in this place where it was very much alone. And that rock bottom, if you like, as I can now view it with hindsight. Eight nine years ago, that rock bottom was really my turn around. And it was from that place. I thought, how am I going to survive? Like, I’ve got to figure this money thing. Now I’ve got to find a way to clear my debt. I was living on credit cards. I’ve got to find a way to turn this around. I’ve got to find a way to feel different. You know, I’ve really got to figure this money thing out. And that was a big turning point for me. It was almost like that decision. I know you’re talking your book Holistic Wealth about fears. Somehow I found the will and I found the faith. I was like I’m here for a reason. And there has to be a way through this and other people have done it and I can figure it out. And so it was those two things that really were my turning point. Wow. Such an amazing story. And as you mentioned in your book Holistic Wealth, the grief and the loneliness and the loss. So difficult to deal with. And ofcourse for you, everything just compounded and just, you know, in the short space of time.
ANCESTRAL MONEY BLOCKS
Keisha Blair: Yeah. It’s so amazing though, the transformation that can come from grief and the growth, and just tapping into that purpose that you mentioned. And there’s so many questions that I have Polly, because you really introduced so many different parts. I just wanted to go back to the very beginning, just to ask you just a bit around the piece where you mentioned that your parents was it, that they grew up in that UK war, or they experienced the war and that kind of shaped their money mindset, which was almost passed down. And I don’t know if you could tell us a bit more about that and what it was like for them and how it shaped you and kind of your feelings around that?
Polly Alexandre: I will just touch on my mother’s side and my father’s side. So my mother was actually in her mother’s womb when they were in the air-raid shelters, sheltering from the bombs, so she would have absorbed her mother’s fear. You know, there’s her mother would have been my grandmother, you know, bringing her baby into the world and, you know, fearing for her life. Wondering if she’s going to survive in that, with this destruction going around, this is in the 1940s in the UK (in World War II). My mother was born in 1942 right in the middle of the war. So since my mother passed away, I’ve been picking pieces of her life and gained a lot more understanding about her journey and beliefs and choices. And how that’s affected me. And one of the things I became aware of that she lived in a lot of fear, her whole life. It was a fear of doing what she wanted to do, and she blamed a lot of circumstances, but not really living a fulfilled life. And yet when I look back and I see actually she inherited this fear, this fear of all her life, and that made her very cautious.
And that was a piece of her own journey. So she couldn’t teach me, and say “you’re going to be okay. Everything was going to be fine”, because she wasn’t taught that and she inherited a lot of fear. So she came into life with this perception of life. So she couldn’t deliver to me, like you’re going to be fine, no matter what I had to discover that for myself. By going through this loss and by learning, I could survive on that without any external support. And that I am supported by divine force starts to fit into like this divine alignment. I look back on my father’s side, and it is really interesting actually, because I think that we pick up on things without realizing in our family. So he was almost on his own health journey. He’s in his eighties now. Miraculously still going strong despite everything. I was doing all of this work, learning about money mindset, studying reading books. I went on an energy healing journey and started learning about the impact that our ancestors’ experiences, choices and patterns has on us. And at the same time, unknown to this journey, he wrote me a letter and I think this was when he was ill. And he said, I want to write you this letter. “I know that we haven’t talked about this, but I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. And I want you to know a bit about your history”. And he said, you know, “you kids tease me about being a Scrooge or tease me about being mean, but you have to understand where I came from my grandparents on my father’s side”. He said, “they died when I was little, maybe six or seven. So, I didn’t really know them. They had a very hard life”. So, he said to me, “your grandmother, my mother, your grandmother was one of 13 children and they couldn’t even afford a home. So, they lived in the work house”. In Victorian Britain was the place like a factory. And you could go and live there for free in exchange for working. So, they would feed you and give you some way to get the very bare essentials. And in exchange you would work. So not technically slavery, but you know, very difficult. So that was like his parents and that’s my grandparents. That’s where they grew up. Barely enough food, barely enough shelter, real survival. Then he came in during the war. He also fought in a war, which he will not talk about. And he won’t actually talk about his childhood. So, I know little pieces, but I feel that it was very odd.
There was possibly abuse. There was definitely poverty and potentially abandonment. Those are some really big themes around safety and survival that played out. And when we incarnate into a family with these types of journeys, should we say patterns, and experiences. They’re parenting through that lens and they’re experiencing life through that lens and we absorb it through their behaviors in the DNA, through what they say to us.
And so I supposedly believe that we incarnate with these things because it’s for our highest. Like there’s no way I could do the work I do, had I not incarnated into this. And I also believe that we incarnate to heal. I heal the lineage as well.
Keisha Blair: You know, as you’re speaking, we had a previous guest, Jenna-Sophia, and she was talking about some of these ancestral money blocks and it’s just amazing. She was saying the same thing and it’s so true that, you know, we’re here to heal. We’re on a healing journey and it’s very much spiritual. And so I love that piece because that’s why I was so drawn to your message. And not only that, but how it aligns to holistic wealth. And so Polly, I know that you give advice and teach how to break those money blocks and how to overcome this type of ancestral lineage of fear and anxiety around money and strategies for that. But I know there’s so much that you have to offer in terms of your advice and wisdom. So I just wanted to start with that little piece of when people realize that this, you know, how this family history impacts us. It’s so funny. I went back through mine just as you did when I came up with that personal financial identity framework.
And as you were talking about back healing with your father, giving you that letter, that’s how healing it was for me going to talk to my mom about her story and her parents. And her grandparents and so similar. So if you could share with us, once we get through, you know, the knowing or that self-awareness that piece, is there the money blocks and the mindset, then what comes next? I mean, what do you advise?
Polly Alexandre: Yeah, it’s such a rich area to work through because it brings up so many things. To continue the subject of family. What I would say is when we move through this excavation process, we move into a process of forgiveness and compassion. And that can be very hard, especially if we feel that we’ve been deprived experiences in childhood. It could be simple things, little things. I always remember wanting a Cindy doll, which I don’t know if you have Cindy in America, we have Bobby. Well, I wanted like a Bobby or Cindy doll. I didn’t get one. I got a puddle and it was like the cheaper inferior one. And that had such an impact on me. I think at that young age, like six, seven.
I remember thinking I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough for a Cindy doll. I’m not as good as other people. They get that. I formed the, but if I don’t get what I want and I’m not worthy of that, and I always have less than others. So the one little tiny incident, like it’s connected to so many beliefs that I formed. And so we also look at the family. We also look at what were the significant incidents in my childhood, where I remember feeling less than, or unworthy. And as we excavate this, the forgiveness, this is big part of the process. And knowing that if our parents knew how to teach us about money, how to be responsible with money or how to feel confident, where they, they would have.
And they were not able to teach that because they didn’t have access to those resources or that modeling themselves. And so there comes a big place of compassion. Either the thing they didn’t do or things they did do that were harmful. And so I think the forgiveness is a big part of the journey. And then I would say that most people’s money, perfection falls into two areas.
There’s not enough, there’s just not enough in the world. So you have to compete for it. You have to try hard for it. If someone else has more, you have less, that kind of paradigm. The reason I don’t have more is because I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not clever enough. I’m just not enough in some way.
And so I find that it falls into two of those camps manifest in different ways, but I feel, and I’ve observed is we’re really on a journey in two ways, one we’re on a journey into like the possibility in the world that there is enough. But there is more than enough available and we have to strengthen our connection with God or the universal source energy to really start to tap into the infinite possibilities that are available to us, to experience life, to offer our gifts, to earn abundantly, to give to others, to experience what we really want.
So there’s more than enough. And then the other journey that I feel everybody goes through is the journey around that. Around that we are enough. And so when we can tie self-worth to our net worth, and I find when I’m supporting people on the money journey, they need to increase their own self-worth. But it also me to detach it from their networth because it’s such a trap to get into. The more I earn the better I feel about myself. I’ve definitely been on that journey. And then the next month you don’t make any money because the entrepreneurship is like a roller coaster and it’s always changing and ebbing and flowing. And then you can feel terrible about yourself. So you’ve taught yourself that self-worth is networth, so you haven’t made money or do you that deal or you didn’t make it.
So one of the things we need to do is increase our self-worth. So we need to both increase our self-worth by getting more tuned into our skills and talents. And by really the contributions we made by treating ourselves with more compassion. But we also need to detach our self-worth to our net-worth.
I’m sure as an entrepreneur, you know what it’s like when we have an amazing month and we feel really good about ourselves because we create a lot of wealth or a lot of money made a lot of sales and then we have a month that doesn’t go as we to go as well. And then we can feel really bad about yourself and that’s because we’ve unconsciously attached us, Self-worth and net-worth. So, it will go up and down depending on how much money or how successful we perceive we’re being in business. And so one of the really important journeys is detached from the net-worth. It’s not easy, it feels good to make lots of sales. It feels good to be helping lots of people or contributing in a big way or getting a bonus, things like that.
Ultimately, we’re moving to a place where we truly believe and kind of embodies that we’re not conditioned by net-worth, which is our job state income, possessions, that lifestyle, or a parent, you know, a home. There’s things that we can enjoy. And, but they’re not really who we are being, you know, as the divine being, as it being that’s here to contribute to the world.
Keisha Blair: Absolutely. And it’s so amazing. It’s so aligned with the messaging in my book Holistic Wealth, you know, in Chapter Five, I discussed “The Incomparable You”. There’s a paragraph about defining success on your own terms. And it talks about that. The very things that you’re talking about, you know, not necessarily just, you know, linking your self-worth to your net-worth and material possessions, but mostly around how we can move humanity forward with our unique contribution. And so that’s so amazing and such an important lesson too, to remember, and especially as entrepreneurs, as you said, because it’s so true every month is different. I found there’s no two months that are the same and it has no bearing on our productivity levels on our ability to bring in sales or to do anything like that.
It’s just how things are. So just some amazing lessons there, Polly and you know, there’s so many things I want to touch on with you. There’s the manifesting piece, of course, because you mentioned being tapped in to the source and you mentioned really owning that to be able to live the life you want. And you also touched on parenting, which I also want to get into and how we limit those limiting beliefs that we give to our kids. As parents, you know, because we don’t want to pass on the same trauma. You know, even when there’s more resources, we’re still saying the same thing. Cause it’s so written into us, like money doesn’t grow on tree is, you know, it’s hard to come by. Like, and even when we’re living a life of abundance, we’re still preaching that scarcity. So, I’m like, how do we change that narrative with our own kids? And again, and this is two questions that I’m just throwing out there. And, and of course there’s also the piece of manifesting and abundance and really being tapped in. So, we can manifest that life that we truly want. So, I’ll let you answer those two pieces because those were two big pieces swirling in my head as you spoke. I’m a parent of three. And, you know, most of us are so much better off than our parents were thankfully, but yet still we preach this through. We’re seeing the same things through our kids, right. And not necessarily changing the messaging. So, I’d love to hear your views on that.
Polly Alexandre: I’m so glad that you asked that question because this is something that I actually hadn’t spoken to before. And there was so much negative communication and programming around money in the collective, in the news, in the media. There’s a lot of fear and scarcity and lack messages thrives on delivering drama and bad news. So they didn’t ever say, Hey, guess what? This company’s made all this money. They always put a negative lens on it. You know, riffing off shareholders or billionaires. Like, you know, there’s always whatever the money is a lack of it or too much of it, there’s always a negative lens. So I think we’re just all exposed to them. So as parents, do you have a really powerful role to play in putting options on the table for your children. Like you have a choice, how you view things here. That’s one reality. That’s one way to look at it and I’m going to show you a different way. So there’s a few things I’ve seen my clients do with children, which worked really well. One is to do a vision board with your kids, or maybe you make them together and they can make their own, like, what would you like to experience in life your way, would you like to go on holiday or, you know, what would you like?
To, you know, receive or create or experience and getting the winter vision board or doing a vision board as a family where everybody puts their things on. Second thing is like teaching children to manage money. I think so that they learn to save it. They learned the value of it, like getting them to earn money for things. Or my personal trainer was saying the other day, he’s got a five-year-old boy. And he said to me that his little boy wanted to do something. And he said, well, you don’t have any money. And he said, well, how can I make some? And so he thought, okay, how can you make some money? And he said, well, what could you do for me? That would help me. And the little boy. And he said, I think your house needs cleaning. That I’ll pay you this much if you clean my house. And so he did. So he’s getting into that concept of what can I give to others? You know, in order to receive, and then I can do what I want to do. So he’s starting to like enter into that money flow. You know, I received, I think teaching children to have fun with money as well, that it doesn’t need to be heavy, that it’s like an energy we can use for the engine.
Maybe you want to like give some to someone who would you like to help or what cause would you like to support or what would be really fun for you to do mean? I was modeled by my mother that you shouldn’t spend money on yourself. And she always felt really guilty. So there’s this kind of guilt and shame you spend on yourself. But she showed me that. You know, you could spend money on others, which was a beautiful gift to be really generous. But it was kind of a little out of balance. She gave amazing gifts. She gave a lot to others that she wasn’t able to give to herself and nourish herself. So, you know, some good things. And I learned some areas that I can rebalance and I’ve had to learn.
It’s okay to spend money on me and I’ve had to work through the blocks and the guilt. Yes, absolutely. So, yeah, I think there’s lots of things you can do with children. Another thing that’s important is conscious language and that’s something I teach in my money program. It’s starting to become aware of what we’re saying like, I can’t afford it. We can’t afford it can be a default, you know, keep going. I want that. And it’s just usually more conscious ways of like, okay, well, like how could you afford it? Like, what could you do? Like my little boy, or how could you save up for that? Or, you know, how important is it for you to have that? So if we had this amount of money and these are the choices of what you could spend it on, is that what you really want to spend it on?
Like I think getting in touch with what you really value and then redirecting or spending is super important. So when I started doing this work in depth, about five, six years ago on myself, I re-evaluated how I was spending my money and I changed it. I cut back on some things. I started spending more on others, so it was aligned with what I really valued.
And it wasn’t always conventional, but like I really value beautiful clothes and I didn’t give myself permission to spend on them, but I was spending a lot of money on eating out because that’s what you did when you socialize. And that’s what other people’s are dictated. And I realized that was not so much in alignment with me. I wanted to eat healthy, but I didn’t want to spend 150 pounds on dinner. Right. And so I redirected my spending and that really changed my experience of abundance. And I think that’s something you can teach your children to do, which is similar for adults.
Keisha Blair: And so, yeah, it is, it absolutely is. I see those lessons play out with my own kids. Now, we haven’t done the vision boarding together, but we’ve done the trade-offs exercise. You know, we also built this gratitude jar together and, you know, we write the gratitude notes in there and so yes, there’s so many ways that parents can reframe their language and conscious parenting. And so these are such amazing tips because sometimes it just comes out by default. They’re just like, well, I didn’t mean to say that, but they’re just asking me for everything. Exactly, exactly. And then like for parents who have three kids like me and the three of them are coming at you at the same time, it’s so easy just to say, well, money doesn’t grow on trees, guys.
Like, you know what, it’s just part of just being conscious and living intentionally and really being conscious about the things that we say. And in the moment, you know, so much kind of come out, but really just really thinking through that. And so I wanted to talk to you about the manifesting piece because, and I mean, and then your own entrepreneurial journey, you’ve had some really great wins, you know, you’ve had some really great times.
You know, I looked on your YouTube channel and there’s so much amazing videos there, you know, and how you’ve had some amazing weeks, you know, one week where you had, I remember I was in excess of over 20,000 pounds coming in from clients. And, and so you’ve had some amazing success. And it would be great to hear in terms of the manifesting piece and how you’re tapped into your divine purpose and how you use that to have a successful business, especially when, as you mentioned, it’s divine, spiritually driven. And so many women struggle with selling their services and marketing their businesses. So I know that’s a lot wrapped up even into this conversation.
Polly Alexandre: So earlier we talked about divine life purpose, and I think one of the things that has helped me create big money months, so that 27,000 pound week, that was like in my first two years. And that was huge for me. Cause that’s what I used to earn in my old job when I last worked in corporate and yes, it’d been a while, but that number, like to make it in a week, but I used to make it a year. That was really mind blowing. That concept to me was like, oh my God, this is crazy. And then I had a couple of years and that was also a huge like glass ceiling breaks. And one of the things touching back to one of the things is focusing on serving. And so really when I say to people, when people struggle with money or the Australians charge more, I’m like just focus on serving, focus on giving, and you can’t do that at expense of yourself, but there was definitely a focus on how can I help people? And I am taking people through a money journey and then I could see what they needed next. And it wasn’t what I was planning to create, but I was like, I can see what they need. And then I had some really be willing to step up and be the person that could lead them. Even if I felt not ready, that’s a big thing. Not ready, or like, who am I to do this? I’m not teaching people about money. That was one of my things in the beginning. No. I was teaching people and money blocks whilst I was still clearing my own money blocks. I was in a lot of debt at the time. And so I had to get over that and say, well, actually, I’m the perfect person to teach people because I have these money blocks and I have this fear and anxiety and I’m working through it. So I know exactly what it’s like. And another thing I had to do. Well, I kept getting told by like intuitive people or coaches, like you have to do live events. And I was like, no way.
Keisha Blair: Right. I noticed that you don’t do webinars. And I wanted to ask you because for those six figure months, and that week that you went, you had an excess of 20,000 pounds. And that’s exactly what came to me because most women, most entrepreneurs that, you know, have these digital courses. Do online coaching it’s webinar week after week after week. I’ve always thought, well, what happens when the webinars stops? What happens when you don’t do a webinar? So, I wanted to ask you about that because I realized that you’re not driven by webinars week after week.
Polly Alexandre: No, I’m not, I’m really sensitive and intuitive and I just can’t push myself that hard. It just doesn’t work for me and my energy. If I push yourself too hard, it doesn’t work for my gifts. So to be able to tune into people, support them and hold space for people that are in trauma or going through the hard time. I have to be in a really good condition and I can’t shut out. It just doesn’t work for me. I’ve realized I don’t have to. So there have been times when I’ve followed various models and I pushed myself to pause and I’ve learned to pull back and let’s take the best of teachings and mentor. But to really make it my own. That time looking back, I do webinars, but I definitely very infrequently, especially occasions when they have so much value in them as well.
I’m still working with the piece around, over delivering. What I had to do that time to break through to the six-figure month was actually something I really didn’t want to do. Essentially, I had to go on live events. All these people telling me you shouldn’t be doing live events. You should be doing live events. I can just about one-hour webinar in front of the screen. It’s taking me like four years to get on video. I literally didn’t do a thing in the first three years. Nope. My clients in like my business program in the early business program. And then they’re like, oh my gosh, I feel really bad. Like I’m trying to get onto video.
I’m like, he’s two years ahead of me. Don’t worry about it. You can still be successful and not do everything perfectly, which is another money block to move past. It’s that you don’t have to ever think you can fail at things and still be successful. You can stay at things and still make lots of money. And that’s kinda what I was doing. So I got this message to do a live event. I thought fine. I’ll do a live event. And I booked a venue in London which then fell through and then had to book another one, three weeks later. I think that’s why I resist. I just imagine like I’m putting on an event. I think it was three or four weeks.
And I had to put a lot of money down to higher location. I wanted it to be a really beautiful location. I always put on the champagne for everyone. I just really went for it. I didn’t, wasn’t thinking of how much money I can make the tickets. I thought I gifted to tickets, to people in my money program. And then I sold the remaining tickets. And it wasn’t about making money. I was like, I’m just going to show up and I’m going to deliberate a whole day of clearing money blocks. And I’m just going to show up, I’m going to do my best. I actually hate that I’m having to do that, but I know demands it like intuition.
You want to break through to your next level. This is what you have to do It was so much to do. You need so many people involved filming to commission that was just so much involved, but I just went for it. And what happened was we had people fly in from like over 20 countries. It was crazy. The clients they flew in from America, just for this one-day event. And they still talk about it now. And so I showed up, I didn’t have a script. I just stood at the front of the room. I had a few notes, but I didn’t know what I was going to say. And I just channeled all day what needed to come through. I did energy clearance with everyone. We had discussions. We oversold, we had like 44 people in the room. There’s only supposed to be like 40. I think I snuck in several people, but that was the limit. I thought I might see 10 places. I literally collapsed at the end of the day, literally collapsed like the stress of doing it myself. So, but you know, you recover from that.
It’s not like a breakdown. That day, I offered an opportunity to work with me in a bigger container. And that led to 50,000, 60,000 pounds of sales. On that day, I had never sold in a room. And I think when you’re the old and you really care about people and you’re genuine and have tapped into what your clients need and you prove that you can make a difference. Like, I think that’s when the money really flows. And so from that event, we’ll send you 5,000 and then I also did calls online with people in consultation.
To bring, I think there was 16 people I brought into my program. It was 10 or 12,000 pounds, about $15,000. And so we would have that four to six week paradigm. I bought 16 people into my first high level mastermind. So that was a big up level in so many ways. Not just financially. That’s a huge money block you have to blast through. If you want to earn more money, you need to be more visible. I had to and I was worthy of leading these people. I was worthy of charging more of the bigger container, and I was worthy of holding people. You know, I have to take a bigger risk. I had to risk putting the money down on this venue.
I had to fly in to do acts by other people to support me and because I wasn’t living in that, you know, I actually like really amazing champagne. And we had, it was an incredible place and I didn’t like some type it’s so expensive. And I just wanted to give everybody this feeling of being really a bummer. And then people really appreciated it and felt it came back to me because when you spend from a true, authentic, genuine place, the money always comes back. It comes back. I wasn’t spending to impress people to show off. Taking it, none of those things I spending full joy because I’m wanting to have this experience with people. I’m willing to tap into that energy of abundance and of a limited possibility. And that was just a way of doing it and a way of celebrating.
Keisha Blair: It’s such an amazing story. And so many lessons there, you know, you talk about taking measured risks, which is absolutely key. And the self-worth. The ease and believing in yourself and charging what you feel you’re worth. And it’s amazing because so many women struggle with that. They think they struggle with even just selling period. You know, if it was up to most of us, we would give everything free, but we have to live. So we can’t. Right. But that’s how generous we are. And I feel that generosity in your spirit too, because I know I’m exactly like that. And so how did you deal with that for yourself? You like, how did you charge your prices? Feel confident and get over that money block that you know, this is what I’m worth and this is what I can charge and I’m completely okay. And I’m completely okay, which is diving into and clearing family money blocks, money blocks, and stories about I’m not good enough or I’m valued on performance. there was quite a lot of programming I had to dive into around childhood as well as family. And so claiming that as one chat, the second track was getting all my gifts and developing the gifts. So I did a lot of studying. So one of the things that’s good about being a spender is I was super happy to invest in courses, training and loved it. I love learning. It’s like, I do it for the joy of learning. And so that was something that really supported me, was investing in mentors that had dumped things before and helped me see the blocks. I couldn’t guide me in the process. So that was super, super important. I definitely couldn’t have done it only because I had no models, entrepreneurship, no models of financial to say you’re going to be fine. No worries.
I kind of came in in a way, in some ways I had a blank slate in that they didn’t actively press any particular belief systems on me, but it was more unconscious through the messaging. But that was the second thing. And then the third thing I think is the action I had to take to keep pushing myself outside my comfort zone and I had to follow my intuition.
So I’d get an idea of like, you know, I need to offer this. And I had to be willing to forget about may not make it about me. That’s been willing to make it about the other people. Like how can I help? How can I serve and really looked at my own financial anxiety or worry or fear aside and know that my clients are not my stories. God or the universe is my source. You know, the client says the channel for money to come through. It’s like families, the channel, like the world’s channels can come through many different channels, but I had to switch from seeing clients as my source. Then having that grasping energy of, I need you to like what to pay my mortgage. Like I’m here to serve. How can I help you? And I think we really inspire others by what we’ve created, what we’ve overcome. So sharing my story about what I’d overcome, that was really inspiring for people. And that helps people see what was possible for them. So I’ve had to do a lot of programming that if you shine deeply jealous of you or people attack you or people exclude you.
So that’s been a big journey for me. So I had to be willing to be visible, to share my story. I think those are the pieces that are coming through most strongly. Now. I think he’s everything that we’ve been touching on today, but those are the pieces that have come up. That I really had to do to break through to that next level. And every time we wanted to break through to the next level, we’ve got to dig deeper and stretch.
Keisha Blair: Absolutely so much wisdom there. And I know you took the personal financial identity quiz. And I’m so eager to hear your results and your thoughts around it. And of course, any insights you can share with the audience.
Polly Alexandre: Yeah. So I’m a Maximalist, which totally resonated. That’s how I live.
I think you have a phrase in your book Holistic Wealth, that so resonates with me because I’ve said, and I always been able to say this, but for the last, I’d say last 10 years, I’ve always said, if I die tomorrow, I’ve got no regrets. And I never heard that. Yes, yes. And that she was so good. I have never had any experience by wants to have to anything I wanted to study or try.
I mean, I have more things to expand into for sure, but I’ve never held back because of money or because of being sensible or because of what other people thought. So I think being a Maximalist has meant that I’ve been able to invest a lot of money in myself. And my growth and that’s enabled me to serve in a bigger way and contribute more to the world instead of hiding and thinking I’m not worthy. And who am I to think I can lead or guide others, but because I was willing to spend the money and invest, that’s giving me the confidence and the tools. One of my values is beauty, and I’ve been able to create, because I’m willing to spend freely and allow money to flow. I’ve been able to create a life that reflects my values of beauty.
I managed to buy really beautiful home, which I moved into last year during the pandemic, which was divine. It’s literally my dream house. I have incredible views of the sea and the mountains and the forest. And I think that my attitude to allowing money to flow because I am a spender, it’s been a really enjoyed life. I’ve been very, very generous with other people. I had incredible experiences. So before the pandemic struck, I spent five years travelling around as a digital nomad. So I’d go and live in Miami for a couple of months. I went to live in Beverly Hills for a few months. I went to live in the Hollywood Hills.
I would just go and have these experiences working. I was like when I was younger, no children, no responsibilities at that point. So I was like, I’m just going to go and like experience life. And it was so amazing. It was so amazing. I was like, oh, I get to have her rest. I know that was supposed to happen just on a personal level. I need to slow down. I needed to stop. I needed to be in one place and I actually was able to manage this myself. From that stopping. I was told you have to stop, but if you want money, you have to slow down and stop. Wow. That’s yeah, that’s true.
So I think those are the upsides. There’s the upside, the downsides being a Maximalist that I viewed. And it was really interesting to think of it like this. I got into a lot of debt because I was spending beyond my means, especially when I was younger. I always spent. I’d always spend the celebration as well. So when I felt bad, I spent to make myself feel better. And when I felt good, I spent two and now we spend, because I thought I deserved it because I wanted to feel safe and secure and I really sacrifice kind of term security. For the short term. So that was one of the dynamics really played out. Well, I would experience this, but I didn’t have a great deal in my life. I feel I’m going to let you be very old. So I feel like it just gets better and better and better as I get older. And so I’m at peace with that part. And I think the other way, the other downside to being a Maximalist is that over-giving to others. So in my previous relationship, I was the one with assets and savings and investments in our home.
I met someone, we were only married for a year and then I had a huge loss. He came in with nothing and left with part of my assets. So I was determined not to go to court to fight it and to handle the divorce with kindness and compassion. And he had a breakdown and I decided that I could afford to lose money, but I couldn’t afford to lose love and kindness and compassion. And so that was a big, difficult journey for me, that lasted longer than the marriage, that process of having a compassionate divorce and being patient. But I came out of it, believing that I could just make the money again. And I actually made so much more money than I ever made before I made the right decision, not to try and grab and hold on. and just to release it. I know, you know, there’s always more, there’s always more. And I want to free myself from that and I’ve gone on to become more abundant than I ever had.
Keisha Blair: That’s amazing. It’s so amazing to hear that. And I just wanted to ask, because this is one aspect in terms of the Maximalist that I love, that you shared with us, you know, in terms of the relationships, especially as women. And you’re right. When I developed this financial personality framework, the Maximalist has the most giving heart in the room. And I’ve always said that the Maximalist has the biggest heart. And I get goosebumps talking about the Maximalist too, because I see it in me in certain ways. And I wanted to ask you, in terms of, you know, you mentioned the divorce and what he was able to walk away with. Is it that he got, like, you know, you had to sell to actually give him a portion of the proceeds? I’m just wondering, in terms of your life, because you mentioned that you’ve gotten so much more back, but how big of a loss or, you know, I don’t want to couch it as a loss, but how big of an impact was it on you?
Polly Alexandre: Yeah, it was cheaper for me because I had spent my twenties working really hard. To be able to get the deposit. And they were to buy my first home. He spent his twenties bumming around on the beach in Thailand, not working. It was definitely like a little bit of like, hold on. I worked really hard to buy my first home. You didn’t do anything. Then when we bought the second house, Yeah. So both our names went on it, but again, he had nothing to put down as a deposit. So I cashed in all of my savings investments to pay the deposit. So yeah, he’s name was on things, but I was really rolling. I also looked at all the finances, so I was also the responsible one and he had a much more cavalier attitude to money. And so I got a nice gift, but it was, I also had like in the UK, we have the tax man because he hasn’t paid his company taxes. So there was irresponsibility and insecurity or so I think some of the healing I had to do was actually around like his choices and his beliefs and his behavior.
When it came to the actual financial loss, I really wanted to keep my dream home. We have two homes between us that I couldn’t afford to take on both. And that was really hard because there’d be the home was my dream. It was so emotional for me. It wasn’t about, you know, the assets or the money. It was about the emotion that, that represented a dream. And I felt like my dream has been taken away. So yeah, we agreed. Eventually it took two years, but we agreed a percentage split based on what we brought in. I don’t think either of us were totally happy. Because it’s not about the money, not the emotions of love and all of the other pieces, but we agreed something that we both agreed to and I’m happy.
I just wanted to move on. So we did a great split, but it was a big hit. It was a big six figure sum and I had to sell my house to pay him. And so I had to reframe that and life when your friend was like, okay, so you can’t afford to own a house here. So, what could you rent? What would be your dream home that you could rent? So I took a little bit of money. I had been selling that place that was mine, and I paid a year rent or literally my dream apartment. And it was just, wow, incredible. I like living off opposite from the world’s biggest Superyacht like what was conscious when I was still making really good money in my business, because I put myself in the middle of it. I don’t think I was living in my dream apartment. They, my dream area surrounded by wealth and an incredible lifestyle. Um, I had that experience for yet. So I managed to yeah. Something good from it, which really, and it’s so much easier to manifest wealth when you’re in the midst of it. Right.
Keisha Blair: It’s just so much easier, you know, that’s what, I don’t know what lessons you’d. because we haven’t touched on manifesting yet, but now I’m like, wow. I do a really good job of manifesting, if I embed myself in the bosom of that type of luxury. And so I know we’re out of time, but I just want to get one last lesson from you, Polly. Manifesting. Because it’s such a good segue. And if you have any last, very potent lessons on how we manifest that life that would be great.
Polly Alexandre: If you think about doubling your income, it’s like, how would you like to be different? Ask yourself how would my life be different if I’d make twice as much money? And so it’s going to be usually a mixture of experiences. So maybe you’d have a holiday somewhere, you know, a better holiday or, and then it’s also things like freedom. So it’d be like, I spend more time with my family. I work less. And then I stay like, try and see how you can start embodying those things now. So that’s what I’m in the middle of right now is like bringing you up level. I’m like, okay. So if I had twice as much money, what would I be doing differently? I’m like, you know what? I wouldn’t work. And I would take mornings to myself, personal development for exercise to make creating. And then I would work 12 until seven. And so I’m just going to move into that. Now that’s what I did today. And then that starts to make me feel more wealthy and more abundant means on that, that vibration of wealth and buzz, which helps bring it in.
So it’s like starting to do these things that you wants to feel, but starting to find ways to feel. That’s the thing I would say, looking for ways to feel it now. So I used to go stay in hotels for one night, but I couldn’t afford to spend a weekend. So that was the next level up. I started some incremental upgrades and I started to figure out ways to feel more abundant.
Keisha Blair: That’s amazing. And you know, this has been such an amazing chat, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m sure the audience has too. So Polly, can you tell us where to find you? Social media and your website.
Polly Alexandre: Yeah, absolutely. On social media at the next photographer. I’m all about Instagram of all of that. It’s @PollyAlexandre on there, and my website is https://www.pollyalexandre.com/. And I would also give you a link to share with your listeners to receive a free energy and meditation so that they can start to experience the power of this work. It’s really gentle. It’s so powerful and it’ll give you a taste of what’s possible what you can shift with that work.
Keisha Blair: Okay. Amazing. And so we’ll put that Link for everyone to access that, which is amazing because I do believe everyone needs to do. So, thank you so much for being on the show. It was so amazing having you and I, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Polly Alexandre: Keisha, it’s been a brilliant conversation. Thank you so much for inviting me on and opening up such interesting avenues. I really hope it’s been thought-provoking and inspirational fearlessness.
Keisha Blair: Yes, absolutely. So much again for being here.
Keisha Blair: Thank you for joining us this week on Holistic Wealth with Keisha Blair. Make sure to visit our website keishablair.com where you can subscribe to the show on iTunes, Spotify or via Rs so you will never miss a show. While you’re at it, if you found value in this show, we’d appreciate a rating on iTunes or if you simply tell a friend about the show that would help us out too. Are you a member of the Institute on Holistic Wealth? If not, what are you waiting for? Go to Institute on Holistic Wealth/memberships to choose your membership plan and join as a member. You get so many perks, free worksheets, advice coaching, and a member’s workshop to design an intentionally designed life. Do you need to figure out your life purpose? Take the Build Your Life Purpose Portfolio online self-paced course. Are you struggling with all your money decisions? Take the free financial identities quiz and then take the personal financial identities course. Did you recently suffer a breakup job loss or experience the death of a loved one? Take the Holistic Healing online course. Do you need an overall plan to achieve holistic wealth? We will help you figure out your Holistic Wealth Blueprint and of course, if you want to start making money by helping others achieve Holistic Wealth, become a Certified Holistic Wealth Consultant. Regardless of what career you’ve got, the Institute will show you how to increase your income and walk in your purpose. The sooner you join the sooner you start to achieve a more holistically wealthy lifestyle and you’re going to want to stay for a very long time so go to Institute on Holistic Wealth/memberships to join. If you haven’t read the book yet pick up a copy of the award-winning best-selling book Holistic Wealth: 32 life lessons to help you find purpose prosperity and happiness