Holistic Wealth Podcast with Keisha Blair – Interview With Loren Ridinger
KEISHA BLAIR: Welcome to the Holistic Wealth Podcast. I’m your host Keisha Blair, wife, mother of three author of Holistic Wealth and Founder of the Institute on Holistic Wealth the show will showcase various experts in the key pillars of holistic wealth each week we deliver the best information on how to become holistically wealthy and live your best life today I have a very special guest with me its Loren Ridinger and Lauren is the Senior Executive Vice President of internet retailing giant Market America and Shop.com. Loren is an internet mogul, who has changed the face of the beauty and e-commerce industries over the last two decades. In addition to building her companies, Market America and shop.com, Loren is the creator of the award-winning cosmetics line motives the solution-oriented beauty fix and an exquisite jewelry collection Loren Jewels.
KEISHA BLAIR: Loren, welcome to the show I’m so happy to have you here!
LOREN RIDINGER: Thank you, Keisha, thank you so much I’m so happy to be here with you
KEISHA BLAIR: So I just wanted to give the audience just a sense of the importance of this interview for me because this has been going back years and I remember when I started aspire Canada you know that mentorship platform that I’d set up for young people you didn’t hesitate in responding and helping me out and you have no idea what that meant to me at that time because I’ll give you a little bit of like a background on how that started so my husband died suddenly from a tragic disease
LOREN RIDINGER: Very young right?
KEISHA BLAIR: Very young exactly. He was just 34. I had just given birth eight weeks prior, and I went to my pediatrician and I said to him what do I do now? I have no male role models you know for my two sons? And he said “get them some mentors when they’re ready”. I started Aspire-Canada you know just to look towards the future of what people young people out there would be able to need because of my situation and when I reached out to you. You were so giving. You are so amazing! I’ll never forget it! So much so that when I got to writing this book Holistic Wealth, you were the first person I thought of and so you’re in Chapter 29.
LOREN RIDINGER: ahh that’s awesome, I have to go get it I’m gonna order it today
KEISHA BLAIR: Absolutely I can’t wait for you to get it! This interview to me is so special Loren, so special and I just want to start with you just giving the audience just an intro to your journey because you’ve had some amazing successes with the different brands and shop.com and Market America so is it possible because this is going to be a highlight for international women’s day so can you tell us about that?
LOREN RIDINGER: Obviously, it wasn’t always this pretty you know? The journey started about 29 years ago for me and my husband , and we met when I was 18 and he was almost 20 years older than me and neither one of us had a thing we didn’t have money we didn’t have a we had a small little apartment that we rented there was no big dates no big dinners there was no big romantic things happening because there was no money to do anything but we both were really determined and back in 1992 we both had a vision that people would eventually be shopping online and back then of course that seemed preposterous because most people didn’t even have computers in their home right we would go to the library to use the computer you know we had dial-up.
If you remember and so it wasn’t the ideal situation but we really did see the future of online shopping and you know back then we were trying to get other people to sell us products and we would find customers back in the day. It was you know 20 people here and there that we had as customers, and we were the customer service department, and the shipping department and we did it all. Now we have 6 million customers, 150, 000 little entrepreneurs everywhere, and more than you know, almost a billion dollars in sales this year, and last year. It’s grown tremendously but I think it’s been certainly the journey of you know the belief when people are naysayers and they say oh “nobody’ll ever buy their clothing or their makeup or you know their shoes online” and now of course today we know that not to be true and you know you just have to kind of get past those people who will bring you down on the journey as you know very well Keisha. I mean people will love to tell you anything that’s wrong with something but I’ve also found that there are a lot of good people in the world, and they will take the time to tell you the good things that you can do and where you can be lifted up and they will give you advice if you ask for it and there will be people who’ll be happy to be your mentor if you ask for it.
The problem is I think that so many of us are so shy and that we think oh well you know they’ll never help us why would they help us but people love to be flattered you know people love to be said hey you know I would love to just follow in your shadow I don’t expect you to teach me everything god knows you’ve worked on your journey your whole life but could I just follow in your footsteps and you know journey along and see how you do it yeah you know so I think the journey has been one that do I think it’s miraculous yet but I also think it’s achievable by anybody you know I think that most people and I’ve always said this and you know we’ve known each other for a long time right?
I believe that people underestimate themselves. I’m so happy that I’ve had the opportunity to build Shop.com into number 54 worldwide for online shopping. That’s a huge you know. Am I ever satisfied? No! I’m not the girl to ever be satisfied but it’s not about making more money, it’s about making more of an impact you know. I believe in making an impact on people’s lives that will change you forever I’m not one who subscribes to corporate America where you know the only way to get to the top is to tear somebody else down and take their place! I hate that thinking that’s why I could never work for anybody.
My dad god bless him, he used to tell me “oh my God you’re never gonna make it Loren, you think you’re gonna grow up and live in this big house one day you know build something really big when you ought to just go on and be a flight attendant with Eastern Airlines”. I thought dad that’s not what I want to do and you know I think you have to be big enough to overcome those people who you love but sometimes they’re the biggest naysayers around you and we have to be strong enough to overcome them because what they think is not our identity you know what I mean
KEISHA BLAIR: Absolutely and it’s so funny Loren that you talk about naysayers because there’s a whole chapter in the book about naysayers. So Chapter two in Holistic Wealth is about naysayers.
LOREN RIDINGER: I will write it down Chapter Two.
KEISHA BLAIR: Chapter Two Loren
LOREN RIDINGER: I will read the whole book and I’m still an old-fashioned reader I love to read books.
KEISHA BLAIR: oh I’m going to be so honoured when you get that!
LOREN RIDINGER: I’ll get it right away!
KEISHA BLAIR: You know what it’s so funny because when it happened to me that tragedy I had so many naysayers. I had people say to me, “oh you know you’ll never do this again” and “oh don’t even bother trying that project because you don’t have a husband to help you and you’re a single mom you can’t do this and you can’t do that” and I got all these negative comments.
LOREN RIDINGER: It’s sad isn’t it
KEISHA BLAIR: Exactly! and so that’s why I had to write a whole chapter on it to encourage women and people who are going through you know these life-altering setbacks and just anyone because even as women we get these messages just like what you said about the messages you got from your dad and so I got those messages too as a single mom and I was so young like I was 31 so still just starting out my life.
LOREN RIDINGER: For sure
KEISHA BLAIR: Yes, and then to get those messages bombarding me about what I could and couldn’t do
LOREN RIDINGER: it can affect your thinking!
KEISHA BLAIR: Exactly it affects your thinking and you wonder if they’re true and even though you don’t believe it, you’re like maybe they’re right but you know you go on because you know you want something better for yourself and you know
LOREN RIDINGER: Yeah and that’s the true reason I believe that the most important asset you have in your mind and people because you have to guard your mind against people and that is your most valuable asset besides time because if you let people in here it does a lot of damage you don’t have to be in an accident to have brain damage you don’t have to have a brain aneurysm to have damage you know you have people in this mind and it takes control of it and like you said even though at 31 you knew what you wanted and what you didn’t want you had other people in your mind telling you and self-doubt and self-doubt can be a killer and you’re just one of the stronger women you overcame that most people can’t
KEISHA BLAIR: that’s so true Lauren that’s so true and as you bring up the words aneurysm… I remember in 2015 when it happened to you and you had to overcome that! Brain aneurysms are so deadly so can you tell us how that happened and how you got through that period?
LOREN RIDINGER: It could have been a very, very dark time. I mean everything happened really fast. It was 2015, you’re right. I was sitting in my office in New York city in my apartment and I remember having looking down on my hands and seeing that my fingernails had turned gray and I remember that the left side of my jaw was electric. I never experienced anything like that before and so I was on a conference call and I told everybody on my team could you tell them I have to get off the call and then all of a sudden I started having these electric shocks in my head and my head and my jaw, my fingers looked like they had newspaper print all over it, just the strangest thing I’d ever experienced. Eva Longoria, who’s a good friend of mine was there with me and I told everybody “hey can somebody call the doctor”? And there was a doctor in the building they had come upstairs and he was like “oh she’s just hyperventilating she should just you know take a Xanax and go to sleep” and I was like no, this is not hyperventilating so I did fall asleep finally after what felt like you know moments of I’m not sure if I was gonna come out of it and I don’t know why I didn’t just insist on going to the hospital but you know I tried to stay calm.
I woke up a few hours later and I said you know what to my husband “I’m gonna go have an MRA”! And he said why? And I said because he said you feel bad still I said no but I know what I felt like earlier but they didn’t see anything and I called my doctor in the car and I said does that see the arteries of your brain? and he said “no you need to do an MRA”. I’ve never heard of an MRA before. They found out I had a massive brain aneurysm in the worst possible place. I went to six different doctors who said it’s inoperable there’s no way you’re going to get through it and I thought to myself how can this be? In my big convention with 25, 000 people was in like five days. It was in North Carolina and my husband I remember having to come home and break the news to my husband and he was broken. So, we went to all these doctors and nobody wanted to operate on me, but then I found this other doctor who said “hey it looks like you know it was getting ready to leak”, so that’s why I was having all this experience which most people are never blessed to have that type of experience.
Most people come out of the shower they put the towel in their head and then they go that’s the end of it and they don’t survive that. I didn’t have a burst, but I was starting to leak and obviously that was what was causing this electrical sensations everywhere so when I told my doctor, I found the great doctor who said I can operate on this, “we can go through your leg we can make this a huge success we’re going to put it uh try to get some coils in there hopefully we can get a stent in your brain”. So I said “okay, but I have to go to the convention first”, and my husband said “you’re crazy we can’t go on a plane”. I said listen, I’ve gotten this far I’m going to the convention as soon as I come back I’m going to land on that plane I’m going to drive straight to the hospital and that’s exactly what I did on that day.
I drove straight to the hospital on the 15th, and I did that surgery that day and I feel like I was the brain poster child. I told my husband I said you know what we’re going to video this and document the journey and he said “no I don’t want everybody to worry about you and they’re going to be freaking out”. I said yeah if we don’t share this, I was 40 years old at the time, if I don’t share this type of stuff with people they’re not going to know what to expect they’re not going to know what to do so I want to document my journey and share it with people and I did and I can’t tell you how many friends that I’ve met over the years that have called me and said you know thank you for helping me get through it.
I just really replaced fear with faith and that was a big thing for me and I think you know the doctor at the last minute when I was getting real in for surgery because you know you do brain surgery it’s kind of a big deal you know you don’t it’s not like two doctors got like a team and he said to me are you ready to go and before I got there I called him I said hey when I get there I need you to come swoop me up quickly because I don’t want to have to see my husband and daughter suffer. So just make it really quick and easy and tell them I’m going to be fine and I don’t want them to worry. I never ever let them think I doubted myself. I remember the night before my husband said to me you know it’s only been a week since we discovered this and I really wanted to talk about it. I wrote him this great letter and I told him all the things he had to do in case something went wrong, like call my daughter every day call our daughter, give her money, do these things, I said and don’t write me back just acknowledge it with a “yes”, but I’ll do all of it and when I went into surgery that morning he said just say no, yes for everything so that was it. I came out and I’ve been better ever since but it certainly teaches you to appreciate things in life as you go and it changed my life in many ways in any ways.
KEISHA BLAIR: That’s just an amazing story like I’m so inspired because you brought up two things: 1) replacing fear with faith and 2) no self-doubt which is amazing. I think if we can live by those two mantras, I think we’d be so much better for it. Loren that’s such an amazing story.
LOREN RIDINGER: That’s what you’ve done! I mean when I look at your journey what happened with your husband passing away early. It’s like most people can’t get through that and you ought to be really proud of yourself for that because it’s a path that most people never take.
KEISHA BLAIR: Thank you so much for that! You’re so right and you know what even just being able to have those relationships like with you, I mean you’ve inspired me in so many ways over the years and it’s meant so much and I think that’s key too right Loren in terms of how we get over this? Not only your family but those people who really inspire you and so in Chapter 29 in Holistic Wealth, so that’s where you’re mentioned in the book in chapter 29.
LOREN RIDINGER: I put it down I’m getting the book today.
Keisha Blair: I talk about you and I talk about your legacy and how you have a big heart and I said in that chapter: “when I asked Loren to become a mentor she was so supportive and became a contributor to the platform immediately and then at the end of the paragraph there’s this article that you were interviewed in for Forbes and you were talking about the time that you launched the business”, so I say in the book at the time you “launched a business it was bringing just $1, 000 per month everyone told her she was crazy hearing that she decided to shut out the negative talk in the naysayers and keep believing she knew eventually their day of success would come, Loren goes on to state that it wasn’t about the products at first it was about belief believing we could do it believing we could get the cream of the crop don’t quit just because it’s not happening on your clock progress takes time.
LOREN RIDINGER: And that is how I live my life because everybody wants to you know get rich, but they don’t want to have to do the work. Everybody wants the rewards, but they don’t want to take the risk. Everybody wants to have a successful marriage, but they’re not willing to put in the work. People want the rainbow, but they don’t want the rain. It’s physically impossible, so I’ve learned a few things in my life. First of all, lead with your heart, you know instead of your head, because sometimes your head gets you get too emotional , so I’ve always learned that if I listen to my heart I’ll win. Second thing is, I don’t let people get in here (in my head), and that’s what you got really good at and you know when you could have when people at 31 years old, talked to you Keisha and could have told you that you couldn’t have done what you did but you did it anyway! You are guarding your mind. The door of your mind is the most important thing you have to watch over.
I don’t watch my back I watch this, you know and I make sure I protect it at all cost. I do the hardest things first every day the things that challenge people the hardest the things that everybody else procrastinates on because let’s face it most people wake up every day and like oh I got to make that phone call oh I don’t I know I need to call her and tell her please help me can you mentor me but I’m afraid to do it and you know what happens is like what if you never wrote me that day we wouldn’t be here today but I think what happens is when people step out of that comfort zone and say what do I got to lose. I still believe in old-fashioned reading like I said in old-fashioned kindness, and I think it goes a long way. I think when people are kind to each other, people don’t mind helping each other. You know it’s funny, I was on clubhouse last night and I was listening to a bunch of people talking. They were pitching their deals to people and I was just sitting in the audience listening and they were all fighting with somebody about would they support somebody’s business and how much money they would have to pay them and I was thinking to myself, people forget that people are human, and will do things from the heart because you compel them to, because you act that way. I lead with my heart and not necessarily my mind.
When I have to use my mind it’s when I have to do things that are like well I learned to say no you know when you know you need to say no to things right like if your girlfriend calls you up and says “hey come on we’re all going out to party tonight you got to go you can’t miss out” but you got a big deadline tomorrow if you say yes your chances of success have just went like this but when you say no that power and most people are afraid to say no why because they’re more afraid of missing out on the party than they care about getting to success. I didn’t ever say this is the path I need to take to be successful I was just like this is what I’m going to do to be successful. I’m going to pick the right friends they’re going to be positive ones they’re going to be ones that lift me up in spirit if I’m the smartest girl then I got the wrong group right? We need the right people who encourage us people who lift us up people like you and me, you want each other to make it. When you’ve got that in your life is good. It’s half the battle and when you protect yourself from those other people who don’t want you to make it and they can’t get in here (in your mind) then nothing they say will ever get to you because you’ve never let it get to you to begin with.
They can’t penetrate you so you don’t believe anything but you are great that you can get there and that is what we should be thinking and unfortunately, we’re not always raised that way you know and it’s not our parents’ fault. God bless my own father, it wasn’t his fault, he just did what he thought was best. I never got mad. My mom gave us so much love. She said “we’re not rich in money, but we’re rich in love”, and I believed her. I always thought I was rich anyway you know? My mom never said to me “Loren you’re pretty”, she used to say “Loren you’re so smart, you’re so bright, you’re going to be something great one day, you’re so good with people”, and I believed her but you know when my dad told me: “oh well babe you ought to just go get that job at eastern airlines you’re never going to mount anything good!”. I turned them off and here’s the thing people say well how do you turn off your dad you just do and here’s how, doesn’t mean you don’t love them, doesn’t mean you don’t respect them, it just means “not now dad not now”. I was talking to somebody the other day thinking about him. My dad passed away at an early age. My mom passed away 42 but my dad passed away at 62 and I remember he never once said to me as I was you know successful like he didn’t come see my homes, he didn’t come to see how I lived, and I never blamed him for that because I didn’t want him to ever feel bad.
One day, I remember I was on HSN for a couple years, right before I left because of my brain aneurysm. When I was on-air, he called in as a guest and he called in and I remember he said how proud he was and you know those are the moments that you’re like ah okay you know and even in my mind I didn’t think it mattered subconsciously, it does so that’s why protecting your mind at all expense is everything! Even for those that you love. I always tell people if I cut you out of my life you gave me the scissors! I had to it. It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s not that I don’t care about you. I’m on a mission I can’t let you interfere with it. It’s hard right and you had to do a lot of that yourself.
KEISHA BLAIR: Yes, I did! and it’s so amazing to hear you talk because that’s exactly what I had to do to move forward with my two young babies. I had to literally use that scissors and cut some people out of my life and I had to do it because they kept giving me the same toxic messages about what I couldn’t and couldn’t do and I couldn’t afford that. My life was too precious. The lives of my two boys were too precious. I had to move forward Loren, and I had to make something of our lives and that’s what I did, so when I hear you talk it’s just like amazing because it’s the same thing.
LOREN RIDINGER: You’re so beautiful it comes through in your spirit and your skin and your soul in your heart and everything you’ve done. I can just see right like your glow is everything and that’s what I mean like you’re my friend, you’re the people I want to surround myself with. I wrap myself in that as long as you do well then if I know that Keisha’s got my back there’s nothing I can’t accomplish! And that’s the way we need to live instead of this way of like you know listening to the girl who says you’ll never make it because they’re miserably comfortable and they’re afraid for you to leave them! Who are they going to hang out with if you make it?
KEISHA BLAIR: Exactly! And so many women need to hear that because I think that’s the thing that stops many women from going after their dreams Loren like you said, you had to prioritize, you had to say no. I had to say no a lot. There’s a whole chapter in my book Holistic Wealth about saying no because I had to do it so many times!
LOREN RIDINGER: it’s such an art right that people don’t know how to do it. You know my husband and I built this company from nothing. My husband was poor. He couldn’t even afford to take me on a date and you know people when they meet me they don’t know that because JR is 19 years older, so they automatically assume like “oh this girl married a rich guy”. I’m thinking to myself this guy couldn’t even afford to buy me a pair of tennis shoes. I didn’t marry a rich guy. What I did was, I went and I rolled up my sleeves and we got it done! I’ve also continued to work 29 years later to set the example for my own daughter , for my own grandson but especially because I want women and my own child to believe that you never need a man you don’t that you stand well on your own and having a man to love you and to compliment you and make you feel good who’s going to give you a hundred percent and not meet you in the middle.
I don’t need somebody meet me in the middle meet me I’ll give you 100 of me you give me 100 of you – otherwise my deal’s off you know what I mean? I tell my daughter like I want her to know that her mom has worked for 29 years relentlessly and I think that that’s why she works hard now. I think that’s why she’s stronger like sometimes you know even in her own relationship, in her marriage. I always want to make sure she’s the happiest and being treated well, but you have to remember that I have to remember too that all I can do is set the right example and I do my part and I let her father know like I have my own voice. I’m not one of your “yes men” you know? I speak my mind and I say yes or no and you know I think that’s what made my marriage work after 31 years of being together. You have days you want to kill this guy and you have days where you know people like well how do you stay married so long because I don’t throw in the towel. I don’t play for anything. I’m a fighter.
KEISHA BLAIR: That’s so true and you know it’s so amazing you brought up Amber, because I remember watching her wedding, I think I watched her wedding maybe a hundred times it was so beautiful and she looked stunning!
LOREN RIDINGER: I love you know what’s so funny about that is that it was five weeks before her wedding and we had to fire the wedding planner because he came in a two-digit million dollar number! I wanted to die! So I said there’s no way a wedding should cost that much! I could feed the world for that amount of money. It’s not happening! So we ended up finding another Wedding Planner and I called them myself for a wedding in April and they thought it was the following year, and I said no I’m five weeks and they did an amazing job. I was so exhausted that at the wedding I think I was the first person in bed at 10 o’clock at night. I was exhausted and many a time she says to me “mom, we got to go back and redo it again”, I’m like I got to go back and do it again just so I remember it because I was exhausted but it was everything. I wish I had because you know, my husband and I so I felt like I have one and one and only and she’s given me so much life and joy I just wish for a better future for all of our children because I think it’s hard growing up in a world of social media and bullies. I didn’t have to endure that – we had other things to endure but they have harsher drugs to deal with and social media to compete with trying to keep up with the Joneses in a world that’s mostly not Facebook but “Fake book” right and I worry about that for our kids in our future it’s so important to me and it just uh you know I want them to be okay.
KEISHA BLAIR: Yeah I know it’s so true. I have the same concerns especially with social media as you mentioned and they’re growing up in such a different world and like Loren, I know you’ve done so much charity work so that’s the other thing I wanted to ask you about and you mentioned Eva Longoria I wrote a couple of articles where I mentioned Eva for her work on financial abuse with domestic abuse for women.
LOREN RIDINGER: Yeah
KEISHA BLAIR: And so, I wanted to ask you about your work with that too in terms of you know just charity in general not necessarily that subject but charities but I know you also do work with her as well
LOREN RIDINGER: Yeah, so she’s one of my best friends and I wanted to take a moment to give her one of the biggest compliments ever you know. I have a lot of successful celebrity friends. Jennifer Lopez is my other best friend. Eva Longoria is probably the most dedicated person I know when it comes to charity work not only of money but of time and you know I wish I could give the time that she does. I always tell people give money or give time. I give money she gives time and money. I’ve never seen anybody do it like she does. I mean she literally will be on a plane 12 days a month just for a charity and I say just for charity because you know you say to yourself wow I mean I’m exhausted don’t get up and go anyway. So I love the Eva because she is one of the most incredible friends I’ve ever had. She’s used her platform to help people everywhere and she has a heart of gold. I always tell people charity should be something that matters to you. For me it’s anything that involves children and it was the same and I think you know she worked her whole life to try to finally have a baby and then she had Santi. So she’s so happy, and it’s even more meaningful to work you know it’s incredible. She’s incredible. She really is incredible.
KEISHA BLAIR: yeah, I know, you both are and you mentioned Jennifer too, you both are. It’s so amazing all these amazing women and I’m so inspired, and I’m so inspired like I’m sitting here with goosebumps Loren.
LOREN RIDINGER: I have goosebumps listening to you and no one has to worry about your husband I think that’s what makes us all come from a mutual admiration society.
KEISHA BLAIR: Yes
LOREN RIDINGER: And that’s what it’s about because women need to elevate women more you know instead of that old way of thinking where you know that everybody had that girlfriend in school that would be like you should wear that dress you look so pretty knowing you looked poorly
KEISHA BLAIR: Yes.
LOREN RIDINGER: And get the right ones around you when you have the right ones around you can conquer the world.
KEISHA BLAIR: that’s true.
LOREN RIDINGER: And that’s why you know as much as I love education I’m so conscious of the environment that we send our grandchildren into and I was very conscious of the environment I send my daughter into because you know you and I and Keisha can work our whole life to instill being honest, not lying, building confidence in a child and we send them to school and they come home a different person.
KEISHA BLAIR: that’s true.
LOREN RIDINGER: And you’re like where is my girl?
KEISHA BLAIR: Exactly
LOREN RIDINGER: And I got to tell you I did something when amber was 13, you might have read about. I pulled her out of school. I was a little hesitant at first, she was in the same private school her whole life when she was in the garden and she was moving into 9th grade I just saw her come home and be very almost like just subdued not in her own spirit not in her confidence question everything she did and so my husband started to watch he came to me and said tomorrow’s the man was last day school I said what do you mean he said look what’s happening to her we went to school and took her out and you know we put her in a school called Kaplan which is everywhere because the s.a.t school which was great but I got to tell you her confidence came right back.
KEISHA BLAIR: Wow.
LOREN RIDINGER: Her way of feeling about herself came back not being pushed down into the dirt.
KEISHA BLAIR: Right
LOREN RIDINGER: no kick that and being told you’re not good enough all that disappeared and I wasn’t mad at the school wasn’t mad at the teachers you know they’re doing what they can do
KEISHA BLAIR: Yeah
LOREN RIDINGER: it’s just there’s not enough information at home with parents aren’t having that conversation like you and I are trying to do with our kids
KEISHA BLAIR: that’s true
LOREN RIDINGER: You know they’re not worried about their 9, 12 and 15-year-old all of them like you are or maybe listeners are you know?
KEISHA BLAIR: yeah
LOREN RIDINGER: we’re trying to have that conversation and say hey it’s okay to be nice let’s leave with kindness let’s not bully people or be nasty to people and I don’t think people are paying attention to what’s happening at home all the time and so it was hurting my kids
KEISHA BLAIR: Yeah
LOREN RIDINGER: I said you know what I’m going to do this on my own and she’s thrived and she’s done incredible and you know now that in this pandemic I’m watching her teach her own three kids
KEISHA BLAIR: yeah
LOREN RIDINGER: she’s like mom it’s amazing what we did
LOREN RIDINGER: it’s amazing but you know children are our future generation and I think if we don’t take the time to really pay attention to it now, we hurt ourselves later
KEISHA BLAIR: that’s true and it’s amazing how you made that bull move because so many times things happen with our children you know even at school and we wonder whether we should and definitely, I think that will you know inspire some people because I had a similar situation where I’ve had to take all three of my kids somewhere else because of a terrible situation I can see that for sure and they thrive and they’re thriving now you know just like how you said with amber and she thrived on that.
LOREN RIDINGER: remove them from the situation
KEISHA BLAIR: exactly
LOREN RIDINGER: Bring them back to where I was like what happened to the little girl that knew honesty and truth and believe herself should be covering up for people and her confidence level will go way down and I don’t want that
KEISHA BLAIR: Yeah
LOREAN RIDINGER: you know and it’s like I went into my little grandson the other day in the kitchen I said you are the most incredible young man I’ve ever met in my life!
KEISHA BLAIR: Awwww!
LOREN RIDINGER: And he said: “Mimi that’s not true”, I said it’s true to me and I said how about if I say that you are one of the most incredible young man in the world he said that’s better and he said because you know that you love me and you would say that but if I can be just one of them I’ll be happy I said well you are one our words are meaningful to them.
KEISHA BLAIR: Yes that’s true and Loren you have a beautiful family and so just to wrap up I remember when we were talking about you know when you were making a thousand dollars and how you grew that and I know many women are at that place right now any words of wisdom or advice?
LOREN RIDINGER: Yeah, I think it’s really important never to give up! that it’s really important to set goals you know? I still set goals today. I know it seems old-fashioned like I said I still read books I like hard books. There’s nothing like doing things in a way that matter to people and so you know doing the hard things first. Number one, wake up every day challenge yourself by doing the hard things first that’s number one. No procrastination doesn’t live in the mind of somebody who wants to see doesn’t happen. Number two, learn how to say no! Say no for your own good so you can live, so you can feel good about what you need to do for you that’s the only way for you to get through what is not always a perfect world but can be harsh number three give yourself self-love because self-love is everything and you know Keisha you went through that experience yourself you know learning how to love yourself is so important and loving yourself first so you don’t put that pressure on somebody else. Don’t expect other people to make you happy. Find your own happiness, find that that special spark in you because it it’s there.
Don’t quit! People throw in the towel way too soon. They’re like “oh this isn’t working”. When we started, I had no customers, no products to sell, but I still believed that one day people were going to be shopping from this computer and you know how many people hang up the phone on me and said “no, we’re not interested call us back when you have customers”! “Call us back when you have credit in the bank!”. I had more at the end of the month than I had money to pay the bills. Yeah that happens to all of us getting to success is not a straight line it’s curved, and it’s a roller coaster, and it’s hard, and it’s challenging and if it was meant for everyone would be it, but not everyone does it because they just don’t show up.
Showing up every day is half the battle. Write down goals, and set dates. I write down goals on everything I do if I make a project, I just met with my team yesterday, I’ve been doing 28 day challenges for the last six months and if they don’t follow through with the challenge exactly the way I want I give them like an editorial counter this is what I want to see I do all these zooms every week. I want to see this this and this but don’t make me waste my time and not do those other things because it’s connecting the dots right you need everybody to connect dots to make it work. So make deals with friends and stop giving away everything. For women who are starting their own business don’t give away all the equity. When you’re start but make a friendship get with a friend and say hey will you do this with me will you run with me? I can’t afford to pay but if you run with me, I’ll make it worth your time down the road. I’ll do X,Y,Z, for you down the road make deals like that with people that you know love and trust that will be there for you or make deals with people you don’t know but you like, and you look up to, and make those considerations come first because people don’t mind helping other people when you’re leading from your heart, but if you’re just coming in and trying to be the smartest guy in the room, and act all swift, and like you know it all nobody wants to hear from a “know-it-all right”. That’s important and we forget the basics of being human, and the golden rule I always say so I always wish that people realize that people will do more when you’re kind and when you’re nice and don’t throw in the towel have believe in yourself.
Take the scissors and cut the negative people out of your life. You got that core group of your friends together who are going to lift you up and make you believe you can accomplish anything put the dates down on paper hold yourself accountable I tell people you know that you should do something with your life right now people like well it’s a little late and I’ve gotten older and what can I do and I don’t have the education I didn’t go to college yeah the closest I ever went to college was going to speak at it now I go to teach them about entrepreneurship it’s amazing when I go into colleges and speak in like university of Miami has become speak to their entrepreneurial program a lot yeah they asked me to come in and speak and I’m like I can’t come in and speak I didn’t go to college you’re like that’s why we want you to come and I tell the kids you know this is the closest I’ve ever been and people love that yeah honesty yes they do you know so be unique but be passionate know what your why is you don’t know what your why is then you’re going to have a problem know what your why is what is that why it’s the thing that wakes you up in the middle of the night that won’t let you sleep that you don’t need an alarm clock to get you out of bed and if you know why you’ll figure out your health I’m so proud of you and what you’ve done and how you’ve overcome and you’re just a real woman’s woman who I love who I look up to who I was wanting to help back then because I believed in you and I just want people to believe in themselves like you do because you know just if they had that belief about themselves like we have for them they’d be huge successes huge superstars there is a superstar in everybody got to let it come out and not be afraid to shine
KEISHA BLAIR: Wise words and so Loren, and if the audience wants to follow you on social media and find the products where can they find you?
LOREN RIDINGER: Well Shop.com, of course, is our main website and I have Loren’s World of course and then I have you can find me at all Facebook, Instagram, Clubhouse, Twitter, Loren Ridinger and I hope I can connect with any of your listeners and you know I love you and I do anything for you and I just know that you are setting the right example where you were in our world of broadest together for many reasons and this was just another one.
KEISHA BLAIR: Thank you so much we’ve gone through a lot with this pandemic but this is exactly the message we need so thank you so much for sharing it with us today!